The Commercialization Of Marriage: A Concern For Families

By Romanus N. Egbulefu on June 25, 2025

 

This article highlights the need for a balanced approach to marriage requirements, respecting both tradition and the well-being of all parties involved._* 
The Parents or Guardians, should bear in minds that human wants are insatiable and nobody would be satisfied with his or her resources until the last day. Families should note that no amount of Bride Price or other Marriage Requirements  demanded from  potential inlaws that would be commensurate to the costs of upbringing of any of their daughters. In the ancient times, it was said that agricultural products were blessed and exchanged between potential in-laws. Let the prospective in-laws reduce their appetites resulting from unnecessary demands.
 *No Man or Woman, after his or her daughter's Traditional Marriage  had been noticed embarked on building projects or  carried-out any other visible ventures with the proceeds from the marriage unless in agreement with such person's in-laws.* 
After the departure of the in-laws, either he or she would be busy entertaining their relatives with the  remnants or part of the articles presented by the visitors. Certainly some of the people thereafter may not care to know whether such parents' in-laws' daughters are healthy treated by their seconded families.
The responsibilities of overseeing their Daughters' affairs from distance will  fall on them. It is a case of "Carry your Cross".  One may not be doing too good, pleasing others  at his or her own expense.
Are nowadays excessive Marriage Requirements or Demands for Bride Price part of Civilizations or  Real Traditions?  In the
Olden Days,  basic criteria for the Primary Considerations accorded to Young Men who asked some parents daughters hand in marriages were different from what are obtainable in the present time.
Honesty, Family Affiliates, Cares & Love for   their daughters, abilities to farm, and other trivial
 attributes etc were parts of those days primary obligations. Remember that wealth may not be eliminated but it is 'Evil of all Ruth' possibly not durable. 
When potential parents inlaws , mostly after prayers were satisfied in fulfilment of the basic requirements, they then formerly welcomed their son in-laws and duly grant their requests in principle.
There were no so much Items or Cash demanded in respect any Brides Settlement
 by the Groom 
inlaws in respective of the suitors Position or Academic Qualifications.
Then, after marrying some parents daughters, the son in-laws were expected to pay periodic visits to their inlaws with their wives and  assisted them  carried-out some domestic chores at the time their assistances were required mostly in the absence of legible  men in any concerned families. When ideal inlaws were not able to help in person due to their other commitments, they sent money to offset costs of labour. 
In the recent times, 'Things seem Falling Apart, Culture nor Tradition may No Longer  Holds' as the case are no more same nowadays, hopefully due to economic reasons associated with earthly desires which are needless before the ALMIGHTY GOD.
In the present period, parents and their relatives rashly welcome  prospective in-laws that ask their daughters' hand in marriages mostly affluent people who come by Luxury Cars and gorgeously dressed without much minding such persons families backgrounds and their  means of livelihood is accorded 'White Elephant Receptions' with Preferential Treatments.
The would be parents inlaws Issue out OUTRAGEOUS Lists of their Requirements to their potential Brother In-laws. With reference to the Igbo Culture, everybody like  Parents, Relatives, co-wives and other related Groups from the Brides Families  benefit from such indiscriminate requirements believing that God has responded to their prayers.
Some of the offensive List of Marriage Requirements being issued out these days are extracted from other callous demands made by some people mainly from outside ones area. People should stop living a borrowed Culture.
Every Tribe  or Ethnic Group has  Standing Cultures and Traditions possibly originated from their ancestors. In any case, one must not remain stagnant due to economic trends but must maintain standard and stop fluctuating in  their requirements. Remember that what separates inlaws is death, without it, the association is  everlasting union.   Then, after fulfillment of their requirements by the in-laws, they assume possession of the brides and leave possibly partially unhappy.
A good number of Brides Parents do not know or have  not visited their daughters to know where they  are married to due to indirect objection by their Brother-inlaws in repayment of their behaviours when the marriages were  contracted out. This unhealthy development causes variances or misunderstandings among the Husbands and Wives.
Some of such People's Daughters are allegedly denied visits to their parents even when there are pressing issues in their Families of Origin. The in-laws possibly believed that they have 'bought' the women and are in positions to impose authorities over them. Remember that your daughters remain your children forever inspite of where they are married to. Mind you, you are not selling them rather seconding them to life partners and they become part of your families. It has not be seen any Man or Woman, after his or her daughter's Traditional Marriage, embarked on molding of Blocks or Bought cars or acquired any other properties.
Human wants are numerous. No amount of Brides Price or Items that one receives  that would be commensurate to the costs of  bringing up his or her daughters. Within the next few months, we shall be heading to 
period of Festive Period, a good number of Better Things would happen. Among, some anticipated in-laws would be visiting some families asking their daughters' hand in marriage or settle their Bride Prices.  Parents are requested
 to be considerate in their demands because nobody has reached the Zenith.
 *Remember that some of your relatives are not coming with pure lovely hearts or to cheer you but to cause confusions and laugh hysterically at you after their aims are achieved.* Pray for your inlaws particularly your daughters' suitors to take care of them at the Time of Needs. Also intercede for your daughters fervently because blessings from you  are very medicinal.

 

Source BBC Sports

Posted June 25, 2025


 

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